I Started Apologizing for Having a Body That Hurt

I do not know exactly when it started.

But at some point I began apologizing for everything.

Sorry I have to cancel.

Sorry I am slow today.

Sorry I need to sit down.

Sorry I cannot make it.

Sorry I am not more fun.

Sorry I am not who I used to be.

I was apologizing for being in pain.

As if the pain were my fault.

As if I had chosen this.

As if the people around me deserved better than a person whose body did not cooperate.

I spent years shrinking myself.

Making myself smaller so my illness would take up less space.

Pretending I was fine so other people would not have to feel uncomfortable.

And somewhere in all of that apologizing, I started to believe that I was the problem.

That I was too much.

That I was a burden.

That a body in pain was something to be ashamed of.

It took a long time to understand that none of that was true.

If you have spent years apologizing for your pain, you are not alone. Many people living with chronic illness carry a deep and unearned sense of guilt about the ways their body limits them.

You did not choose this. You are not a burden. Your body is doing its best under conditions that most people around you cannot fully understand.

BioBreathing was created as a space where you do not have to apologize for anything. Just breathe.

Begin your free 5-minute reset →

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